Archive | TITS RSS feed for this section

The TITs Week 14

13 Jan

Dear Silicone Squeezers,

To anyone who is reading this that has a knack for over embellished assassinations, please listen up. Someone has just played me the new Britney Spears song, and it seems that she has set her fat fucking grubby hands on the neck of our beloved dubstep genre, trying to strangle it for all the mainstream money its worth. I will handsomely pay any bounty hunter who tracks Britney down and kills her in the most overtly gruesome method possible. She has gone too far this time, as desecrating a sacred genre that hasn’t even reached its peak yet is a crime deservingly punishable by death. Now that weve got that out of the way, here is your weekly breastfeeding from the nipples of awesome.

P.S. we are still in the process of giving the site a facelift. My inability to come to a conclusion of an acceptable template for the site is irritating, i know, but its a process. Unless one of you readers out there can design me a website to my incredibly bizarre specifications, the overhaul process might take a bit so bare with us!

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy

(to download tracks right click the pink link & press “save link as”)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Chris Brown – Look At Me Now (Feat. Busta Rhymes & Lil Wayne)(Prod. Afrojack & Diplo)

The only reason this song is fantastic is because of Busta Bust. You might as well just start the track at 1:08 mark, after chris is done “rapping.” Busta busts in and throws up a “hail breezy,” and shows us how to “keep the dice rolling when hes doin his thang”. Regardless of how retarted that sounds, Busta absolutely destroys his cypher, reminding us why he still exists in the rap game. The backbeat produced by Afrojack & Diplo is trippy and simple, and by speeding his rap tempo up to every 1/16 count, Busta sounds like hes rapping at mach 3. After two big gulps for air, a minute has gone by and Busta has officially converted the track to something impressive. Weezy’s cypher in the end is decent enough, but a version with busta bust for all 4 minutes woulda been more than derperful.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Feed Me – Grand Theft Ecstasy

Jon Gooch’s To Do List: 1) start producing ✔ 2) focus on drum and bass and change name to Spor ✔ 3) get tired of drum and bass ✔ 4) change name to Feed Me & focus on electro-house and dubstep muzik ✔ 5) produce a couple of banging tracks ✔ 6) get signed by Mau5strap label ✔ 7) make an EP ✔ 8 ) have EP rape Beatport charts ✔ 9) tour with Deadmau5 ✔ 10) make the Worst Guy’s TITs ✔

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Cyberpunkers – Fuck The System (Designer Drugs Remix)

This song just made me vomit a little in my own mouth. The Cyberpunkers seem to share several commonalities with The Bloody Beetroots (also known as TheWorstGuy’s biggest mancrush). For one, they are both from Italy, wear cool-as-shit headgear (not Venom, but paintball masks) and create headbanging, mosh-worthy bangers. Designer Drugs does a great job at keeping the Beetroots-esque tone, but with their own original touch of godliness.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

The Bloody Beetroots – Dimmakmmunication

After their recent concert, I have been perpetually reliving my love for the Beetroots over and over again through this track. Intolerable amounts of repetition has been the name of the game for the past 5 days, and my adoration for the boys from venice has never been stronger. This song is the definition of perfection, and I hope it brings you as much joy as it does for me. For a full review of their recent sets in Waterloo & UWO click me.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Kanye West & Jay-Z – H.A.M.

I have been in a conundrum about this song since I heard it. Its J and Kanye so its not unreasonable to expect this song to be sensational, but after I first heard it I was very disappointed. After a couple of subsequent pressings of the repeat button, the song started sounding a little better. My biggest problem is that ever since the release of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, I now snobbishly expect every Kanye track that comes out to be on the same ridiculous level of production. In that sense, this song just doesn’t measure up to its potential, but Ill let you be the judge.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Porter Robinson – The Wildcat (Lazy Rich Remix)

Porter Robinson has done quite a shitload of work over the past year or so of blowing up on to the scene. Starting with “Say My Name” he has nestled up quite a large, permanent space in my head and I doubt he’ll ever leave. The sky is the limit for this prodigy from Carolina and I am looking forward to his live skills next month in the Tdot.

Top TITs of 2010 Part II: Top 20 Electro

7 Jan

To the countless in attendance and the millions watching at home…Ladies & Gentleman…LLLLLETS GET READY TO FIST PUMP!!!

As Dylan has been quoted since he said it, “…the times they are a changing” and his words are as true today within the modern EDM scene as they were during the folk and progressive rock eras of the late 60s. 2010 saw the success of Crookers, The Bloody Beetroots, Steve Aoki & other prevalent 2009 DJs become diluted amidst the flood of international musical talent that has busted its way into iTunes libraries and local clubs from LA to Singapore. As the underground music community blossomed, thanks in large part to modern technology, the sources of incredible sounding electronic music grew exponentially, and artists became international sensations almost over night. The days of being spoon fed a handful of decent musicians by major record labels is over, and normal people everywhere have earned their right to be famous by working hard and having innovative musical talents. As Rolling Stone puts it, “DJs are the new rockstars,” and the world of live music has been forever altered from their incredible impact. Looking forward to 2011, a year that will undoubtedly be another huge leap forward for the global music industry.

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy

(Remember children, to download a track just right click it and press “save link as”)

—————————————————————————————————————————

#1

Deadmau5 & Wolfgang Gartner – Animal Rights

If you are shocked that this song is number one, kindly remove yourself from my site right meowingtons. Fuck what the chinese calendar says, 2010 was the year of the Wolfmau5, not the tiger. Im pretty sure that if Deadmau5′s music was able to transmit aids, the collective global youth would be dead by now. By witnessing him play live 5 times this year, the fifth time being exactly a year from the first, I was lucky enough to witness first hand the reasons why Joel Zimmerman has a commanding strangle hold over EDM community’s nipples. His endless knowledge and passion for the tech aspects drive him to remain that much more innovative than his opposition, both in the studio and on stage.

O ya, almost forgot about Wolfgang Gartner, a man that has been producing electronic music for so long that hes beginning to mirror yoda, in both skill status and physical looks. From the day that Joey Youngman became known as Wolfgang Gartner, the music scene became forever altered. His creative patience and overwhelming studio knowledge allow him to conceive bangers that are bursting with synthetic texture and raw power. His figity sampling style has become internationally cherished, and has spawned a new genre of production standards amongst young DJs. I also had the pleasure of seeing him perform live, where his hands did not leave the knobs of his mixer for close to 3 hours.

So, weve got these two retartedly talented DJs and producers, each with their own distinct sound that is currently breaking the necks of countless music fans over the globe, how can life get better?….BY FUSING THEM! Whoever came up with the idea that these two should produce a song together is smarter than einstein. Besides how incredibly absurd the song is as a whole, my favourite part of Animal Rights is the clear distinction you can hear between the aspects of the song produced by Deadmau5 and those produced by Wolfgang. Rather than trying to brainstorm ways to complement each other, they decided to just stick to what each of them does best and put it together. The merger of Wolfgangs microsampled high tones behind Deadmau5s synth-glitched basslines are more in tune that the relationship peanut better shares with jam.

Let us all pray for a Wolfmau5 tour in the near future (alongside Justice & Daft Punk)

—————————————————————————————————————————

#2

Afrojack – Replica

Honestly, I dont even know where to start explaining how much I love Afrojack. The fact that I cant personally thank him for all he has done to ignite my passion for electronic music, pains me every time I listen to his tracks. The signature sound that he has developed for himself is unmatched and can be easily identified within seconds of listening to it from the throbbing erections it produces. If there is one DJ that can erupt a crowd murdered with douchebags and sluts, its the afro man. It was a struggle to pick this song over all his others as the one to post, for adding the others would just fill the list with Afro and not give the rest of the world a chance. After his sets at Ultra, Bonnaroo and almost every other major festival this summer, the world became infatuated with the Dutchman and haven’t lost their zeal since. Look for this mans already incredible reputation, to elevate to a legendary status within the next few years.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#3

Porter Robinson – Say My Name

Its amazing how musically mature Porter Robinsons has become over the course of 2010, given that fact that he just graduated high school. At the ripe age of 18, this North Carolina native has has etched his tracks into the set lists of countless DJs across the globe. He claims that his biggest influence musically is Wolfgang, and it shows. Porters tracks are always heavy hitters that are drenched in original microsamples and bass, and evoke that signature holy fuck feeling after the first decible. Say My Name became an instant anthem after its release, and sits alongside Venga, Less Go! & Im On Fire, in Porters relentless arsenal of electric doom.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#4

Wolfgang Gartner – Illmerica (Original Mix)

From padewon at #3, we now move to jedi master at #4. The incredible evolution of Wolfgang’s music over the entire decade is a testament to the unimaginable depth of studio production skill that he possesses. Wolfgangs talents have allowed him to create some of the most explosive and high tempo’ed music that the world has ever felt, which is even more impressive considering the fact that he has only focused his attention to tech/house production in the last 3 years. When DJ mag released their top 100 DJs of 2010 list, I was shocked to find Wolfgang all the way down at #70, with DJs like Martin Solveig & Paul Oakenfeld light years a head of him in the rankings. It was really shameful to see him placed that low, considering the amount tracks he has made that have donkeypunched Beatports Top Ten charts since 2007. When Illmerica dropped on October 5th, im pretty sure a collective HOLY FUCK was simultaneously shouted and tweeted by every EDM lover on the globe. Since then, I have heard it at almost every live DJ set ive attended to this day, and can honestly say that the reaction of the crowd when it is dropped will never get old.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#5

Fatboy Slim – Weapon Of Choice (Lazy Rich Remix)

One of my favourite up and coming artists of the year would have to be Lazy Rich. 2010 saw the forging of an alliance between Porter Robinson, Spencer & Hill and Lazy Rich; a trinity that is sure to be molesting charts and minds for the next foreseeable future. Each of these three aforementioned DJs have developed a similar montra when producing music, one that leans heavily on extensively complex builds and high energy sampling and basslines. This remix of the hugely popular Weapon of Choice, originally by Fatboy Slim, follows suit and delivers on every tasteful front. Named amongst Beatports top 10 electro tracks of the year, this banger gives the original a facelift from hell by injecting it with a syringe packed with enough awsomesawce to harm a fully grown elk.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#6

Avicii – My Feelings for You

I find it funny that Deadmau5 played multiple times over the year in Toronto and the single Avicii show is the one to make headlines. Tim Berg has definitely come along way from mixing Commodore 64 games in his bedroom 2 years ago, as 2010 saw him working shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Sebastian Ingrosso, Axwell, John Dahlback & Tiesto. Upon the release of My Feelings for You, I think its safe to say that most people fell in love with Avicii, and it didn’t hurt that his bootleg of Seek Bromance was retarted either. As for everyone like me who new years was ruined, I have no doubt that Mr. Berg & Mr. Morrison will deliver us the redemption that we deserve.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#7

Swedish House Mafia – One (Congorock Remix)

Im pretty sure this picture speaks much more profoundly than anything I can sum up about Congorock’s career as a DJ using words. End of story.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#8

Martin Solveig & Dragonette – Hello (Sidney Samson Remix)

Its been a fantastic year for the Torontonian trio of Martina Sorbara, Dan Kurtz & Joel Stouffer, as their band Dragonette has garnered much acclaim over the course of the year. So much so, that they were scouted by the likes of Martin Solveig, Kaskade & Don Diablo for collaborative help, with each resulting track being just as yummy as the next. Hello, in my opinion, was THE most addictive electro song of the year and gained extreme popularity following the huge remixes that were released by Sidney Samson, Michael Woods & Dada Life. Each version of the track is unreal, but I chose to post the Sidney Samson remix as it gave me the most triumphant boner out of the 3.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#9

Skrillex – Rock N’ Roll (Will Take You to the Mountain)

Ive you have been a die hard Worst Guy follower, you must already be well versed in the overt respect and adoration that this site has for Sonny Moore. 2010 has seen Skrillex emerge into superstardom almost overnight, as he was signed to Mau5trap records, opened for Deadmau5 on his tour and conquer almost every spot on Beatports Top Ten following the release of his Scary Monsters & Nice Sprites EP. The beauty of his production style is that it cannot be defined to one singular genre label. Rock N Roll is a clusterfuck of noise, that incorporates various elements of Dubstep, Electro, Glitch and House production into 4 minutes and 44 seconds of sheer bliss.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#10

Alex Metric vs. Steve Angello – Open Your Eyes (Original Mix)

This first time I heard this gem was a few months ago at Electric Zoo; a DJ powered music festival centered at Randall’s Island in New York. It was the first morning and I arrived at the festival completely alone. Unsure of my surroundings I decided to grab a couple of bottles of Bud light to keep me company. 10 minutes later I found myself in the middle of a mid day set powered by the international sensation Gareth Emery, a man known for his exceptionally well rounded sets. As the he dropped Open Your Eyes, I was honestly so overwhelmed with euphoria that I turned to the stranger next to me and told him that I hope this is what it sounds like when I enter heaven. He looked over at me and immediately started laughing, yelling to me that he had been thinking the exact same thing. He introduced me to his friends, who had joined him in coming up all the way from Miami, and we all proceeded to go insane for the entirety of this fantastic song, and the rest of the sets I joined them for that day. The rest of the indescribable insanity I experienced that weekend will forever be attributed to the production magic of Alex Metric & Steve Angello.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#11

Clockwork – Airflow (Valerna Remix)

Valerna hit an absolute home run with this track. The snare line build that drives the intro of the track into the first drop is unreal, and sets the tone for the remaining 5 minutes of a track that is overflowing in energy and noise. If you are a little saucy and need a song to just fucking give’r to, this is definitely the one to blast.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#12

Erol Alkan & Boys Noize – Lemonade

For all of you out there who have yet to see the German phenom known as Boys Noize spin live, amend this, for failure to do so will result in a major void in your life experience. To put it bluntly, Alexander Ridha is unstoppable. Since establishing his record label in 2005, Boys Noize has cemented his reputation as an elite producer and DJ in the minds of countless fans across the globe. Lemonade, a collaboration track released by him and Erol Alkan at WMC in Miami earlier this year, took the EDM world by storm. That distorted synth line became one of the most recognizable sounds of the year and has been catalyzing dance floors and festivals everywhere since its initial drop.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#13

Dan Black feat. Kid Cudi – Symphonies (Dada Life Remix)

I dont think I will ever forget the first time I dropped this track. It was around late february of last year, and I had just started DJing at a local club in Jerusalem with a friend of mine. I had downloaded a bunch of Dada Life songs that week and hadn’t really had a chance to listen to them thoroughly enough to appreciate them yet. I was about half way through my set on a warm wednesday night when a cute girl came to the booth and requested that I play Symphonies by Dan Black & Kid Cudi. Naturally I obliged, seeing as both her and the request were a welcome change from all the fat stupid bitches that had been hollering at me to play Lady Gaga the entire night. By accident, I put on the Dada life remix and once I realized my mistake the song had already started and it was too late to switch. The crowd and I shared the same blind anticipation as the song began to build, and thankfully, as the beat dropped everyone erupted into a fit of ludicrous rage. Watching the club get showered in alcohol and limbs over the duration that this track was playing, was one of the single greatest moments of my life.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#14

Spencer & Hill – Dub Disco (Lucky Date Remix)

I think ive already talked enough about Spencer & Hill, a production team that sits neck and neck with the likes of Porter, Skrillex, Avicii & Lazy Rich as the rookies of the year for 2010. This remix of Dub Disco by Lucky Date is obscene, and made me foam at the mouth the first time I heard it. If you ever find yourself in a situation where your in a Lambo, racing Michael Schumacher to the fountain of youth, you should prob pop this track on during the homestretch.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#15

Chrizz Luvly – Moving Up (Original Mix)

Huge douche + fantastic music = Chrizz Luvly.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#16

Devin Martin – Zombie Robot

In my eyes, Devin Martin is currently one of the most talented unknown artists in the EDM scene. What this guy has been able to produce from his bedroom in Orlando is simply breathtaking. Zombie Robot has the feel of a track that has been carefully collaborated by veteran production hands, as it is drenched in originality and texture. There are few producers than can properly evoke an eerie zombie feeling so well through an electro track, and have it pop and dismantle eardrums as well as it does. I cant wait to interview Devin and pick his mind, so that we can all understand what the fuck is going on in Florida that we dont know about.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#17

Duck Sauce – Barbra Streisand (Fare Soldi Remix)

Im guessing most of you are shocked that this song was placed so low on the list. Well, the reason is simply that as big as this song got, it was not the best song of the year. Dont get me wrong, the track is unreal and Duck Sauce are incredibly talented, but the other songs the supersede this one were indeed better than this one, regardless of how much more popular Barbera Streisand is within general society. Also, I found the remixes of this track to more often than not be better than the original, with this one by Fare Soldi doing the original the most justice.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#18

Geht’s Noch? – Body Jack (Original Mix)

Definitely the winner of The Worst Guy’s coveted, “Who The Fuck Are You & Where Did You Come From?” award for 2010. These guys are so unknown that even their name doesn’t make sense. But wow, do they ever know how to put together a sensational track. After hearing the intro the first few times it ran through my playlists I was a bit confused, and more often than not changed the song well before the first build starts to get good. Thankfully at a subsequent pre drink that followed, the song was able to be appreciated in full length, whereby everyone in the room who heard it erupted into furious, drunken wall punching fiesta.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#19

FTampa – Who I Am (Original Mix)

Again, If you are a frequent follower of this website, you will know that I have taken a keen interest into a handfull of DJs and producers to recently emerge from Brazil. So far, the one who has mainly stolen my affection has been Felipe Tampa. I just finished up an interview with the young brazilian Electro-house producer, and will let you get to know him better when I post it later this week. For now, just listen to his track Who I Am, it will explain everything for you in sounds that are easy to understand. Look out for this kid in 2011.

—————————————————————————————————————————

#20

Valerna – Look Ma, No Pants! (Felix Cartal Edit)

Rounding off the top twenty, we have a song that somehow captures what it would sound like if Optomus Prime went down on Megan Fox. I had never followed Felix Cartal that closely, but upon hearing this track I ran to my computer and downloaded anything and everything that had his name on it.


Top TITS Of Twenty Ten Part I: Top Ten Albums

31 Dec

OH MY LORD THE MOST GLORIOUS TIME OF MUSICAL LUSCIOUSNESS IS FINALLY UPON US!

Hurrpies and Gentlederps, it is with the utmost pride and sincerity that I present to you the first segment of The Worst Guy’s top yummys of what has been a spectacular year in everything except mainstream music. 2010 has seen an extreme surge of attention directed towards the EDM community and the underground indie/alternative music scenes. DJs have turned into international gods in mere seconds, and technological advancements to small time producers and bands has sparked a shitsmere of artists emerging from the confines of their bedrooms with extremely unique sounds. The hottest girls started listening to dubstep, and 17 year old DJs produced tracks that engrained themselves into mixes and sets across the globe. Events like Ultra, Electric Daisy Carnival, Bonnaroo, Coachella & Glastonbury were overflowing in talent and attendance, while countless other smaller festivals began popping up faster than kirstie alley’s hemorrhoids.

Concurrently, the mainstream american music market was forced to sell its pride and finally kneel down and slurp some Canadian schlang in order to generate revenue. Who woulda guessed a little shit from stratford and a jewish rapper who played a cripple could life-fuck every girl and child in the US. While all the while sites like Hype Machine and Grooveshark took a firm grasp over the underground music scene’s balls and put all the power of authority back into the listeners hands, where it should be. Artists from around the world were able to gain popularity outside their home towns as the internet pushed the music industry into a whole new stratosphere.

With all this new talent, it was very difficult for us here at TheWorstGuy.com to consolidate all of our favourite songs into a single post. So it dawned on us to shower our loving readers with a week of voluptuous joy, spreading our favourite TITs of each genre across several posts so that each may be garnished with the full fondling that it deserves!

We begin today with our top ten albums of 2010, which has probably been the most difficult to narrow down. With so many new artists in varying genres garnishing incredible accolade over the year, its tough to make a top ten list that satisfies the opinions of the mass music community. After much debate and bickering, this is what we came up with.

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#1

Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

When checking the top album posts from other music sites, ive noticed a tendency to count down from bottom to top and save the best albums for last. I say FUCK THAT, as the best album deserves to be mentioned first and foremost and this album has most definitely earned that right. Its actually quite scary how incredibly talented Kanye has become in the studio, devoid of how retarded he is in day to day society. His antics remind me of one of those outgoing stacked girls in your grade 12 science class that get straight As but have absolutely no common sense. Personality aside, Mr. West has birthed an album that has grabbed every music fan by the taint, and given Yeezy another shimmering masterpiece to mount on his wall. Whether your having fantastic sex, running a triathalon, knitting, commiting arson or taking a nice shit, theres a song on the album that can easily cater to the desired occasion.

CAN WE GET MUCH HIGHER?!

(for a my full review of the album click me)

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#2

Deadmau5 – 4×4 = 12

Holy fucknuts, where to even begin describing the sheer animality that I experience every time the tracks from this album explode out of my speakers. Fuck all you mau5haters and posers out there, the king of Niagra shall forever reign atop his throne of insanity. From the first kick of Animal Rights to the last synth in Some Chords, this album delves you deep through the depths of the electronic playground that is Joel Zimmermans mind and shits you right out the other side. The icing on the cake is the final song on the album, aptly named 4×4=12, as it consists of a 1 hour DJ set provided by the Mau5 himself, alolwing his fans to hear the album as he intended them to hear it; mixed and mastered by his hand. Combined with a hauntingly seizuretastic live performance, the one known as Deadmau5 pretty much curb-stomped 2010.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#3

Vampire Weekend – Contra

If your are ever in a shit mood and put this album on and dont feel better after, your a sociopath. This album took everyones mental picture of “I wish I was on a beach right now” and somehow materialized it through music. Every song is more upbeat than a cheerleader on speed, and matched with a vocalist that sounds as if he robbed Paul Simons soul, you have a sound that people develop a insane craving for. I was lucky enough to see them play live this summer, where they somehow sounded infinitely better than on the album. Combined with their mastery of modern production technology during their live sets, puts them in the bullpen with the likes of Miike Snow, while their vocals keep them that much better than the rest. Cant wait for the next album.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#4

Sleigh Bells – Treats

After the first decible I heard of Tell ‘Em, I became instantly hooked on Sleigh Bells. The noise-pop music duo of Derek Miller & Alexis Krauss have been pioneering an extremely unique and well textured sound that has flooded the indie music community. 2010 has marked a year overrun by emerging female vocalists, marrying their vocal talents to creative underground producers instead of mainstream trash. In this case, Millers production versatility shines beautifully through every chorus and verse accompanied by Krauss, and the resulting music is synthfully sublime.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

#5

Big Boi – Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty

I think after the first scene of this seasons Entourage (as garbage as it ended up), me and my friends collectively shat our pants. For the song picked to open episode one of season 7 was Shutterbugg, a track that tattoos itself to your brain immediately following its first listening to. The very same song that blasted its way through everyones cars speakers since the moment it was leaked off the album. Damn has Big Boi honed his craft and shown us a whole new side of his personality and talent. His flow is sensational, and the signature style that has kept him on iconic levels since the Outkast days shines thru on every track. Let this be evidence to force those that believe hip hop is dead to think twice, as maybe its you critics that have become dead to the idea that the genre is alive and well, constantly evolving and improving itself while thriving on the influences of its roots.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#6

The Gorillaz – Plastic Beach

2010 for me marked the end to a 6 year void that has eaten away at me since the release of Demon Days by the Gorillaz back in 2004. Like many in this world, I find falling asleep troublesome at times and more often than not turn to music to fuel my dreams. Its a long process to find that one specific sound or genre that allows you to properly relax and detach from the world. Since Demon Days my sleep playlist has been thirsting for more Gorillaz, only to be quenched in 2010 following the release of Plastic Beach. The level of slumber I have reached after first listening to On Melancholy Hill has yet to be topped, with the rest of the album following suit; overflowing with tracks that unwind the body and remove the mind.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#7

Two Door Cinema Club – Tourist History

I honestly did not know these guys were Irish until I saw them live, as from their music the only thing that can really be assumed is that they’re incredibly talented musicians. Like Vampire Weekend, the trio of Sam Halliday, Alex Trimble & Kevin Baird have found insane success through the magic of music blogs and Hype Machine, and quickly found themselves on countless iTunes libraries across the globe. Their sound is somewhat of a cluster fuck of several 21st century indie and alternative bands, and the resulting music is catchy as sin. If this is the direction alternative and pop groups are heading towards, 2011 is going to be a fantastical year.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#8

Flying Lotus – Cosmogramma

Every once in a while an artist emerges that introduces a intensely unique and individual sound to the music industry, leaving most in awe while the rest scratch their heads. The music usually involves a hybridization of one or many genres, with production qualities that complement specific sounds of each influence together in a manner befitting some sort of structure. Flying Lotus took a different approach, morphing elements of genres that dont typically sound natural together; creating an incredibly off tempoed and heavily textured sound. In order to truly enjoy this album for what it is, you must force yourself to throw contemporary musical conventions down the shitter and allow yourself to blindly enter a musical world that isn’t really meant to be fully understood. I think as time goes on this album will gain much wider acceptance and accolade, forcing a much more riotous anticipation for the subsequent Flying Lotus albums to follow.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#9

LCD Soundsystem – This Is Happening

Cue the future grammy winner for alternative music album of the year. James Murphy has come a long way from the days that Daft Punk were playing at his house; a musical journey that has led him to the top of the Billboard charts. Murphy labels this album as “…much better than his previous other two,” a statement that humbly describes the tracks that make up the playlist, one reeking of originality and electronic soul. Im pretty sure the chilean miners even know all the words to I Can Change.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

#10

Rusko – O.M.G.!

Your damn right i put this album in the top ten you fucking haters you, as dubstep is here to stay and has become a key addition to a well balanced musical diet. The cockney thug rubbed out another tantalizing helping of synthesized madness this year, with the majority of the tracks released skyrocketing to the top of both the corporate and underground music charts. “Wake The Fuck Up” became the unofficial motto amongst festival goers, as dubstep tents and events across the globe attracted more and more caos. Rusko also learnt to add female vocals to his music, a move that has become somewhat of a necessity following the success that other artists, like Deadmau5 and Bassnectar, had when employing the same technique. Amber Coffman could be uglier than quasi modo and it really wouldn’t matter, her vocals in Hold On are so damn sexy they make my eyes rain and pretty much turn my spine into goo. One of my favourite things to see is when a mainstreamer listens to Rusko for the first time and a curious smirk sneaks across their face, as it reminds me how much bigger this genre and this artists are going to be in the upcoming years.

Stay tuned for more Top TITs of 2010 coming up all thru this week!

The TITS Week 13

23 Dec

To My Fellow Bra-Snappers,

The joys and sorrows of first semester have passed, and if your’re like me 2011 will mark a much needed fresh start in more areas than one. Yea we all make new years resolutions, but aside from the resilient few among us that actually keep them, the only pleasure this time of year offers us normies is the promise of incredible parties, fantastic food and maybe a sweet champagne induced kiss from a beautiful girl as the clock strikes twelve. This year the crew here at TheWorstGuy.com offer you one more holiday treat, as next weeks rendition of the TITS will mark our “Best Of” 2010 round up, showcasing our most vulumptuous and boner popping offerings from the entire year, spanning the Dubstep, Electro-house, Indie & Hip-Hop genres. Incase your retarded, and were not aware of the ridiculous amount of sensational music created this year, you best mark down next thursday in blood. Heres is the last slew of bangers for 2010 before next weeks juggernaut. SLURP AWAY!

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Deadmau5

Deadmau5 – Limit Break

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Milk & Sugar

Milk & Sugar – Hey (Nah Neh Nah) Vs Vaya Con Dios

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Ninetynine

Ninetynine – Hiver Interstellaire

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Scorned Society

Scorned Society – D.R.E.A.M. (Scorned Society Remix)

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Angger Dimas

Angger Dimas – Are You Ready (Original Mix)

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Far Too Loud

The Prodigy – Warrior’s Dance (Far Too Loud Refix)

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Dirtyloud

Marc Adamo & Tim Healey – Move (Dirtyloud Remix)

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Shook

Phoenix – Lisztomania (Shook Remix)

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Calvertron

Kanye West feat. John Legend – Blame Game (Calvertron Booty)

The TITS Week 12

16 Dec

Each weekly segment of the TITS showcases a wide variety of forms; some hard, some soft, some well known, some not so well known. Thankfully, all in all these TITS are plump, juicy and always keep you coming back for more. For all those TIT fans reading this that are not familiar with most of these artists, I beg you, keep an open mind and give each TIT an equal sampling. To favour one TIT over another is just not natural, as all these TITS were made to be fondled and loved with equal care.

Dear Music Lovers,

The combo of obscene coldness and exam suckage are starting to get to me, by forcefully keeping the warm embrace of December break steadily at bay. Although I wont be going anywhere warm this year, knowing that I will have zero responsibilities and can hibernate for as long as necessary is enough to keep me sane. It is my hope that most of you are finished exams and already either on a beach somewhere, or in the carefree and loving embrace of your comforter. For all of those out there like me, for whom the exam period is still lingering like a bad rash, let this music be a soothing ointment.

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Tittsworth

Who better to start off this week of the TITS than an artist whose name screams this list? Tittsworth’s track is definitely TITS worthy, carried the whole way through with such a delectable bassline it will gyrate the stiffest of hips. This track is guaranteed to get yo’ holiday funk on. Almost as tasty as that burrito in his hand…

Tittsworth – Drunk As Fuck (Meterhead Dark Disco Mix)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Zeds Dead

Ive stop trying to figure out what the fuck it is that Zack and Cody posses that allows them to create what has become the best dubstep music coming from Canada, period. This summer scorcher released by them is one of the most beautifully evil things ive ever in my life. The vocal samples they use are as light and angelic as whipped cream cheese, and are sadistically juxtaposed by some of their most evil sounding synth and bass lines to date. These guys are on the brink of superstardom and you can still catch them performing almost 3 times a month at small clubs. I highly suggest all of you Dubheads that have not yet capitalized on this, make your way to Wrongbar on the 22nd. Together with Omar Linx rapping live, this should be a party not soon forgotten.

Zeds Dead – White Satin

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Wolfgang Gartner

Heres a snippet of what Wolfgang is going to be dropping on December 21st. From the sounds of it, Wolfgang is far from slowing down anytime soon……Thank God.

Wolfgang Gartner – Space Junk

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Tiesto feat. Emily Haines

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet, but I FUCKING LOVE Emily Haines. Yes, I am a fan of Metric and Broken Social Scene, but my affinity for the bands goes basically as far as her. She has some of the best vocal talent I have heard in a long time, coupled with her ability to improve any track she touches. She has worked with some of the biggest names in music today, like The Stills, K-OS and MSTRKRFT, proving she can genre-jump with the best of them. This one is a little bit of an oldie, but it doesn’t matter, her voice is timeless.

Tiesto feat. Emily Haines – Knock You Out (RuN RiOT Remix)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Mowgli

Another super-groovy tune for y’all to jive to (or whatever it is kids dance to nowadays). Mowgli does an excellent job at creating another song you physically cannot help but dance to. I was listening to this before an exam and almost caused a flash-dance with the rest of the people waiting with me.

Tim Deluxe feat. Sam Obernik – Just Won’t Do (Mowgli Remix)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

eMDeeeMA

I absolutely love eMDeeeMA. It always makes me feel like I’m the king of the world and everyone around me is a knight at my round table. I’ve also heard many other people love eMDeeeMA for many of the same reasons. Seriously how can’t you?!? Maybe it can get a little much at times but when that happens, all you gotta do is crank up the volume and let it take over control.

…..OHHH he’s a DJ! That makes more sense…that all still applies though.

Thundacub – Thunder and Lightning (eMDeeeMA Remix)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Extra Special Treats!

The Cataracs – Bass Down Low (Feat. Dev)

Haiku D’etat – Mike, Aaron & Eddie (Boreta Remix)

Deadmau5 & Kaskade – I Remember


The TITs Week 9

25 Nov

Dear Chestbanger enthusiasts,

Week 9 marks the first TITs segment to be picked up by our partner site, lionsdenu.com. This is fantastic news as now countless more virgins will be able to experience the true tittyfucking power of the electro music we have all come to appreciate here at TWG.

Josh & I would like to deeply thank everyone who consistently checks out the TITs and our website, as we would not have been able to accomplish any sort of success without you.

In any case, as this was the first rendition of the TITs on lionsdenu, we threw as many mammorygland monsters as we could at them. So for all you die hard worstguy fans, you might notice a few tracks we have already posted. But who the fuck cares, the tracks are too good to mention only once anyways!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Chrizz Luvly

After reading up about this guy and looking for pictures to post, I can honestly say that this is the GREEEEZZZIEST fucking DJ ive never heard of. According to his bio on myspace and beatportal: Chrizz has over 100 tracks in his repertoire, should be categorized in the stratosphere of the major stars in elector house music, and I quote, “his mind explodes with creativity, he continued to work hard in search of something new, in his words: “A sound that could extract from deep down the best and purest of the soul of each one and that could make one express it with movement, dance.” From the looks of it this guy is the ultimate schween and prob jerks off to topless pictures of himself. Pretentiousness aside, this guy is a decent producer, and the tracks I have recently listened to by him are actually quite banging. Someone just needs to deflate his ego and his pecs a bit.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Benny Benassi

This song popped on in my car the other day when my Iphin was on shuffle, and I think I almost shat my pants in pure nostalgic joy. Bennny is, and will forever be, immortalized as the DJ everybody knows and wholeheartedly appreciates. What this guy did for the genre, the culture, and for peoples minds in general, is incomprehensible and he undoubtably deserves every accolade and dollar he has ever earned.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Dada Life

These two grinning gods, named Olle Corneer and Stefan Engblom, make up the DJ duo known as Dada Life. In my world, they currently join the likes of Justice & Daft Punk as the only DJs I idolize for whom I have yet to see live. I dont know what the fuck is in the water in Sweden, but it seems to spawn sensational hockey players, incredibly stacked blonde chicks and absurdly creative DJs. The unique sound that these two have created is a sensational hybrid between tantalizingly high pitched tones and synths that are heavier than Rosie Odonnell’s ass cheeks and tits combined. To put it simply, if you are ever at a party and are not sure what to put on to get people rowdy, pop on some Dada FTW!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Angger Dimas

This kid looks like he just came fresh from playing mogley in the real people rendition of the Jungle Book. It somewhat scares me how fucking young some of these DJ/producers are now adays, but at the same time it keeps me sane, as it proves that not all children in the music industry need to floss with ushers pubes in order to be successful.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Oblivi0n

When you can take a an elite Deadmau5 track and transform it into what a giant robot uprising would most likely sound like, you should probably quit your day job and never leave your mixer. But im sure Oblivi0n has already figured that out by now.

Bonus Bra Size: new mau55y mau5!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Mr. Oizo & Gaspard Auge

Where do I even begin talking about these two demons of destruction. This song is the weirdest combination of obscurely timbred samples ive ever heard in my life. The intro starts off with a rolling synth line that has almost no reverberation, then it cuts into a weird xylophone-powered EKG machine sounding backbeat with an obscure ‘work out video’ sample overtop. From the 8 count, the beat drops into the most ridiculously high pitched, and least reverberated, synth jamboree ever conjured. The song has almost no bass in it and its only 2 mins long, but somehow it keeps you salivating and content. This is a true testament to the skill of the duo who have brought you such bangers as: “Tricycle Express”, “Rubber” & “Flat Beat”.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Bart B More & Harvard Bass

Victor Hugo Ramos + Bart van der Meer = HOUSE MUSIC WARLORDS

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Robyn

Finally girls all over the world have a respectible pop musical role model to look up to in this day in age. Robyn is a class act through and through, and one of the most amazing vocal talents that ive noticed recently. Apart from that, her vocals sound seamless overtop electro music, as wittnessed by the coutless remixes of her hit “Indestructible.” Laidback Luke’s version is a straight up clubber fucker, while A-Trak’s is extremely experimental, using violin and orchestra samples and early 80s sounding synth lines to create a fantastically unique banger.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Tim Berg (Avicii)

If you could zoom in on every person in the picture above, you would be able to see all of their Vinegar Strokes (for everyone who has no idea what I just wrote, go watch the tv show The League. You will shit your pants so bring an extra pair when you go watch). The reason is because they are witnessing a live set of the master himself, Tim Berg a.k.a Avicii. There are few things that I can rank close to the level of awesomeness of Avicii. If you are in the Toronto area for New Years Eve you must go see this man do what he does best: rip eargasmic live sets. Plus, lets face it, unless you are partying with Mike Tyson and Lebron James on the moon for New Years, you aren’t doing anything better than this.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Steve Angello

One-third of the massively huge trio Swedish House Mafia, Steve Angello defines the term “boss”. His music is always at the top of some chart, be it on Beatport, HypeMachine, or my personal faves. When combined with Steve Axwell and Sebastian Ingrosso, these Swedes literally form like Voltron and beat the shit out of your earholes. This track is a testament to how incredibly awesome this guy can be on his own as well.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Boemklatsch

These four strapping lasses all hail from that tiny region in Europe that is churnin’ out HUGE talent: Ze Nezerlandz. Boemklatsch really know how to put together bangin’ tracks, mixing heavy basslines, synths and all those bells and whistles that have made the Dutch reigning kings of house. Not to mention, these guys have their own record label, signing big names like Dem Slackers and Gtronic.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Porter Robinson

A massive up-and-comer on the EDM scene, this DJ has been producing for about 7 years already! But wait, “why does it look like has not but one hair on his chinny chin chin?” you may ask. Well it’s because they probably havent blossomed on this young prodigy yet. At the tender young age of 18, Porter has become a household name to many with his Beatport chart-topper, “Say My Name”. His music sounds like Wolfgang Gartner, Deadmau5 and Skrillex all climbed into a mixer and out popped this dude. Yet to make an appearance in southwestern Ontario, I am painstakingly waiting for him to grace me with his majestic music.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Bassnectar

For everyone just getting acquainted with this madman, meet Lorin Ashton. Don’t let the picture scare you away (looks like he had a photo shoot in Alexander Graham Bell’s aborted basement), this man is as kind as he is lethal [on the turntables]. To put his music in a single genre is impossible, unless of course you were to just give him his own genre, which he probably deserves. Using such obscure samples even JDilla would be impressed, Ashton creates music that will literally take control of your body and make it do very nasty things. Disclaimer: This aint your parent’s music.

Bassnectar & Datsik – YES

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy & Dr. Robotnix

Extra Special Treats!!!

This video of rookie Blake Griffin is a metaphor to what the TITS will do to your eardrums every week. DERP!


The TITS Week 8

18 Nov

Dear TITS lovers,

I would like to solemnly apologize for the tardiness on this weeks rendition of your favourite slew of breast related bangers. The mid-term and essay monsters have had a tight bind over my uvula lately, and as such I have been in-able to dish out your weekly fix on time. However, this week has also been an extremely positive one for the site, as Josh Nightingale has now been officially added as a co-writer and administrator for the site under his new alias “Dr. Robotnix” and as such, the site will now be constantly filled with an epipen’s worth of adrenalined fueled mayhem. Also, we have begun working in collaboration with a local UWO website, http://www.lionsdenu.com, and through them will hopefully be able to grow our small site into a legitimate contender in this hipster infested social media world of music blogs.

Anyhoo…..fuck the limitless potential of the site, lets get down to the nipply business at hand.

Finally someone has sampled this incredibly nostalgic song, that we all have come to use in a pun and or euphemism at some point in our lives. Luckily, Gary Caos was able to do the song justice and at a healthy 6 minutes & 34 seconds, he has birthed a beautiful banger baby. His cut in the middle of the song to the original recording is a wonderful touch.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

If ecstasy and mdma had to pick a favourite DJ, it would 100% be Avicii. The man has developed the innate ability to lift his listeners so much higher than even peter pan can fathom. His use of xylophone-esque tones during his builds matched with his uncanny ability to find the most orgasmic female vocalists, allows him to pump out victory after victory in the house music charts. The other day this song came on when I was at home and it put me in such a euphoric mood that I started finger-painting pictures of rainbows and cabbage patch kids.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

In my opinion this song should be sent back in time and inserted as the background track for every assembly line scene, in each Terminator movie made.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

The man is unstoppable. The uniquely dutch sound we have all come to love emulates in full catastrophic effect in this new unreleased track. I dare you to listen to this song and refrain from masturbating. The overwhelming rage induced coma that Afro perpetuates through his music is fucking absurd. His signature use of high pitched tones and distorted drum cadences for builds, has become the background track to countless music lovers’ alcohol powered hysteria for some time now. Heres hoping that it never ends.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

This track is not unlike anything ive heard before, but theres something unique about it I cant seem to put my dick on. Its structure is similar to that of any other acceptable electro banger, but its samples and tracks seem to be alittle unconventional. Its as if Chocolate Puma kidnapped a mariachi band off the streets of Mexico city and jammed their essence into their mixer. The song itself is decent, but that one prominent horn track has been lingering in my loins for close to two days now.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Heres another new track from that post-mortem rodent who continues to fill our ears with goodies. The best place to drop this track: DJing that crazy sweaty rave in The Matrix 2.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Never thought you would be hearing Boy George on a blog like this? Guess again, punk. True we haven’t heard much from the androgynous star since his rise to fame with Culture Club in the 1980’s, however Grammy winner Mark Ronson skillfully uses Boy George’s talents in his new track, and with Congorock on the remix, this song is sure to keep the dance floor shaking.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Ibiza giant Roger Sanchez is in the process of releasing a new album on his own record label. He also just recently did an interview for the L.A. based EDM blog Gotta Dance Dirty (I recommend you have a read through) which is sure to boost his publicity. This song will hook you immediately with its sample of a very famous B-52’s song (shouldn’t be too hard to guess which one) and a collaboration with up & coming rap stars Far East Movement. Add Sidney Samson to the remix, and you have got one hell of a song. If this was released at the beginning of the summer, it would have been an instant summer classic but now it will just have to keep us warm through the winter.

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy & Dr. Robotnix


The TITS Week 7

8 Nov

Dear my beloved TIT squeezers,

Im not sure about the rest of you, but this weekend for me has been both unbelievably hectic and insanely awesome. My car pretty much became an extension of my foot , as I drove over 500k between London, Toronto, Kingston & everywhere in between. Thankfully, I had an extended slew of satisfying musical munchies to retain my sanity through all the kilometers I logged and I was able to cap off the weekend with a massive erection when I finally saw Crookers play a live set at Sound Academy. A special thanks goes out to Lorne Kalmar, Viviane Burisch, Davin Young, Boaz Reshef and the rest of the hooligans who made my weekend at Queens and Toronto unreal! Also a VERY happy birthday to Jordan & Rach!

But enough about my incredibly exciting life, here are some songs for you lovely people to keep your feet poppin and nipples erect for the week:

Honestly, there is nothing left for me to say about Skrillex that you dont already know, if you have been following my blog. The man is the most diabolically evil musical genius to ever grace this partially midget infested planet. I am counting the seconds until December first, as im sure are most Torontonians with proper musical taste.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

The Toronto based remix machine, Barletta, has been a busy little bee as of late. Hes been touring around Ontario and Quebec for the past few months and pumping out banger after banger in the process. For all those in T.O., Ottawa, Mtl & Waterloo looking for an awesomely cheap night, he will be playing shows in the next few weeks (for specific dates & venues check his myspace http://www.myspace.com/djbarletta/shows). Here are two missiles from his arsenal of boom!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

With these next two tracks, almost all of Yeezys songs from his upcoming album have now been leaked. From the looks of it Yeezy is struggling with holding onto the autotune aspects of 808’s that he loves so much, while still trying to push his sound in new directions, through a variety of different genres and channels. “All Of The Lights” is the guaranteed chart-climber, the one every 10-16 year old will be awkwardly dancing to at bar mitzvahs in 2011. “Gorgeous” on the other hand is the exact opposite, its that beautifully mellow song that is going to be blasting in every college guys car during a hot box sesh in the parking lot before going to see a movie.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

I had totally forgot about this song until i re-listened to New Kind Of Nakeds “Hadouken Mixtape,” that was recently featured. Fuck this song is so damn good, I must have listened to it about 15 or 16 times in the car rides to and from Kingston this weekend. Unfortunately, Queens students party in a much more anti-rage & rage related music way than most western kids and my friends do. When I dropped it at Kalmar’s birthday pre drink, all but a few self-respecting Golden Gayles in the room retreated to the hallway to sip their beers, as they couldn’t handle the amount of liquor powered purple energy that was melting the walls and breaking the floors.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Oh BetaTraxx, if only I could understand what the hell is going on in that messed up mind of yours, that allows you to take one of the most ridiculous songs of all time and somehow make it absurdly better. There are few better DJs on this planet that can make ragingly obscene remixes like this, it just makes you wanna jump around and rape everyday household objects. BEWARE for the 4:25 mark of the song, as Beta gets a little d’n’b nasty nastttt.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

This is the song that was playing in the background of a heavily alcohol influenced dream I had the other night, where me and Jesus were riding red unicorns in ancient Greece on a mission to save facebook. Oddly enough if that actually happened, this is most likely the most fitting song to suit that occasion.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

You know your childhood is officially over when you see this picture and realize you grew up in an era when dressing like that was somehow fashionable. But fashion aside, for those fogies like myself, the picture also represents one of the best tv duos of all time. Thankfully, Jazz or DJ Jazzy Jeff, is an extremely talented musician and DJ, who always had the help of Agent J to provide clean cut lyrical back up. This remix by Kanji Kinetic is a very powerful dub step modernization of the original track, one that will bring out that neon coloured inner child from the 90s in you, as it makes you deaf.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Robyn is officially the most unbelievable female singer in the Electro-House genre, a title that she has now stripped from Sofi, the singer for Deadmau5. This track, when played uber loud, just knocks you off your feet and carries you straight up. If you like this song and have never heard of Laidback Luke before, or have not heard many of his songs, open a new tab and download everything you can find with his name on it, RIGHT MEOW!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Say goodbye to your eardrums and revere the new age of Porter driven insanity. All hail BABY X!

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

This last track was sent to me from my favourite abercrombie looking mother fucker, my buddy Mike from Ottawa, which makes it even that more impressive as music hasn’t been invented in Ottawa yet. But I gotta give it to the sens loving homo, he has a very keen ear for music, especially minimal. So to all my mainstream readers, be advised that you might wanna pass this song over, as this track will only give uber pleasure to those who truly appreciate an extremely well produced minimal song.

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy

Pumpkin TITS

31 Oct

Dear Boyles and Goyles,

I am currently watching football and slowly recovering from the weekend, Im assuming most of you are doing the same. My weekend was exhausting, due mostly to Calvin Harris, and as such I wont bother you with my usual onslaught of elaborate puns and euphemisms to recap the concert, as im too tired to think of any and im guessing your too tired to read. In any case I hope you all had fantastic Halloween weekends, I know I did. Ill be capping of this glorious holiday by seeing New Kind of Naked tonight at Martini Bar, followed by John Roman at Diesel, should be a testicle tickling good time.

Alright here are the TITS I command you to fondle this week:

Keeping with the spooky theme of the weekend, I thought id start you guys off with a deep-house track. Maya Jane Coles is a 23 year old producer/DJ from London, England who currently sits atop Beatport’s deep-house chart. She has been producing since she was 15, and it has definitely given her a huge advantage in a mostly male dominated genre. If you are in a state where you dont wanna move or are about to pass out, pop this song on and let it carry you.

Two crucial peices of information on Skrillex:

1) His new Scary Monsters & Nice Sprites EP is pillaging Beatport’s village, as the tracks currently sit at spots 1,2,4,5,6,8,9,10 and a jizz drizzling 11 on the Top 10 chart. If you have no idea who or what im talking about its time to get the fuck out of whatever hole you live in.

2) If you miss his show at Wrongbar on December 1st, you WILL hate yourself later on in life.

Flux Pavilion is essentially the modern day King Midas, the difference being everything he touches turns to RAGE.

Ive got to give it to LMFAO, as much as you can so easily write them off as being too mainstream, they’re sampling skills and imaginations are endless and more often then not, they really hit the nail on the head. Unfortunately, in the end their songs always get overplayed and you see too many dickweeds having to much dickweed related fun and you cant to enjoy them anymore. Hopefully this song wont get dickweed poisoning to quickly, as its a pretty decent song to party to.

This next artists has literally saved my life for the past few nights. If you ever find yourself in bed after a long night of whatever and cant seem to sleep, reach for this or any other Millionyoung song, and you’ll be snoozin in no times.

If you are like me and found that going out and getting sloshed both friday and saturday wasn’t enough, here are some songs to power your predrinks for tonight:

Last but not least we have a taste of things to come from the boys from Paris. The Tron soundtrack is quite possibly the most anticipated album of recent years, as is the remake of the movie. If this track is any indication of what is to come, you best stay near a washroom after purchasing this album.

Let us all bow our heads in prayer, and ask the good lord for a Daft Punk tour in 2011.

Happy Halloween!

– Signed Sincerely The Worst Guy

The TITS Week 5

26 Oct

Dear TITS lovers, this week has been a special treat for the bresticle loving public, as you get a second free helping of nipple bangers to keep a pop in your step in this lowly mid term period. I hope you all get through this period of academic annoyance with the utmost prosperity and sanity. My muse to distract myself in the library lately has been a combination of fantasy sports and the following:

If you have been following my blog then you have already seen the short film Runaway that Kanye recently aired. The one song from the film that caught my ear was “Dark Fantasy,” the one playing at the beginning when Kanye is driving that awesome car. From the looks of it, Kanye has developed a new style yet again, one that is very hit and miss in my opinion. Theres a fine line between innovative and weird, and Kanye likes to flirt with it. With this track, Kanye decides not go too overboard and the result is truly tasty. His use of violins and string instruments complements perfectly with the heavy bass and piano undertones. Definitely one of the best songs on the album in my opinion.

Hip hop is not dead, its evolving. The recent boom of popularity towards the Dub Step genre has been a blessing for rappers and hip hop producers alike, as the production and flow of each genre compliment each other very well. With its heavy bass and low tempos, Dub Step music provides a great platform for freestyle rappers to add a new dimension to their game and fanbase. My prediction is that eventually there will be a heavy separation between rappers who hold true to the old school rap game, and those that are willing to embrace this modern musical revolution. The track below, a collaberation between the heavy dub DJs Zeds Dead and the up and coming rapper Omar LinX, is a perfect testament to dub and hip hops compatability. This track is tasty as sin and I hope that more big names in rap will open their ears and lend their flow to the dub step genre. This could be a start of a beautiful friendship.

This next track was created by HaHaHa, a producer based out of Glasgow. The only term I could think of to define this track is deliciously odd, for it is a combination of some of most mellow acoustic samples with fantastic editing and remixing of Florence’s track “Youv’e Got The Love.” For those that appreciate the direction that skilled indie producers have been taking lately, this song will be a treat. Personally i am biast, as I enjoy almost any song with Florence vocals, but this producer has real talent and I hope to hear more from him soon.

This next track came as a bit of a surprise to me, as it did not sound anything like I thought it would. Erol Alkan remixes usually hold true to his motto to “keep kids dancing,” and are more often than not over banging ragers. This remix of MGMT’s “Congratulations,” is a funky/mellow kinda pick me up song, and is very unlike Erol. However, its nice to see a softer more textured side of the aging London based DJ. I just hope that he hasn’t lost that edge that has kept him consistently popular since his mash up days of the early 2000s.

The other day I had the pleasure of skyping with my wife Raph, who is currently studying abroad in Copenhagen. Recently she visited Amsterdam, where she had the utmost privilege of seeing Afrojack play his first sold out concert in his hometown. From what she described, the prince of pleasure threw down one of his most epic sets to date, but im really not surprised. For all of you who still do not follow Afrojack, you best smarten up, as his fame and musical talents are only getting better.

Here is a song for all of you mainstream lovers. Personally, I dont think this song is that good, but that has no impact on the imminent popularity this song will soon have amongst the fists of countless guidos. The Black Eyed Peas have been able to constantly find the recipe for songs that you hate yourself for singing along to, and I guarantee that after the usual 2 months or so of this songs popularity, it will die faster than Michael Jordan’s career in the MLB.

Im not too sure if it was actually Justice who created this remix, or if some shmo threw Justice’s name on it to gain popularity. Either way whoever made this accomplished a terribly difficult feat; they were able to make a Britney Spears song bangable. Kudos.

Marina and the Diamonds by themselves are quite fantastic, but its nice to see a seasoned remixer like Fred Falke dabble in the indie music scene. This remix isn’t unbelievable, but its an upbeat disco-esque track that is well done and will keep u bopping around when you need a pick-me-up.

Im not sure where Pharell has been lately, but from the sounds of this next remix hes been spending a little time in India. He took the classic stones hit “Sympathy For The Devil” and threw a bunch of sitar and bongo drum samples behind it, which suit Mick’s vocals surprisingly well. If this is any indication of Pharell and the Neptunes new production direction, im very excited to see what they will be churning out next.

What is there left to say about A-trak, aside from how incredibly talented he is. He is one of the few electro DJs left that remains firmly planted in his scratching and hip-hop roots, which allows him to continually create tracks that are unparalleled in terms of originality. He is the shimmering gem of the montreal music scene and will forever be a driving force in the DJ culture. O ya, hes also a Juden!

Lets all pray for a strike!

– Signed Sincerely, The Worst Guy

%d bloggers like this: